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Expert Poll Analysis

On Thursday, Jonathan Moorhead posted the following poll:

Which category do you most appropriately fit as a Christian?

Persecuted Minority
Moral Majority

My first reaction was:

Are those the only choices? Come on, man, very few of us are persecuted, we are not the majority, and I do not want any part of the Moral Majority as a political force.

I thought that was an astute observation. Dr. Moorhead disagreed:

David, are you kidding me? I know better than to make “Neither” a choice! It’s not necessary what fits you perfectly, but what fits you most appropriately. You best go ahead and choose the red or blue pill.

Well, knowing that Jonathan is from the South and packing heat, I decided it might be prudent to let him have his way:

O, fine, be that way, I'll play. While I'm at it, would like a date with Michael Moore, or David Duke? It’s not necessary what fits you perfectly, but what fits you most appropriately.

Ha! I kill me! I may not be a Th.D. candidate, but I’ve got B.S. aplenty! Which led to:

David, you're a good sport. It will be your job to interpret the results of the poll.

I thought he was joking, but I guess he wasn’t. So here is my interpretation.

Early results (14 votes) were 100% Persecuted Minority. There are two, possibly three, types of people who identified themselves this way.

The largest group is like me. We don’t really consider ourselves persecuted, but we loathe the political force that uses the name Moral Majority. We also have experienced some minor unpleasantness due to our faith, so we told ourselves we really weren’t lying.

The second group are whiners. They actually consider the previously-mentioned unpleasantness to be legitimate persecution. Some body call the waaaaaambulance.

The third, and smallest, group are those who have actually been persecuted. Yes, it happens, even here in the U.S.A. More likely, though, they are not Americans.

The Persecuted Minority group dropped to 87.5% when two tough guys voted Moral Majority, making 12.5%. There are two possible descriptions for these voters.

Possibly, they have had their head in the sand long enough that they don’t know what the Moral Majority is/was, and they are in favor of morality.

More likely, they really approve of the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition. These are scary folks! But they are good with guns, so they are not all bad.

Or it could be something else entirely. What makes you think I know anything?

2005-12-10 at 9:40 PM MT | |

Blogger Laura sayth,

I was one of the Moral Majority votes, and yes, I'm aware of the political movement and disagree with it and Jerry Falwell. But since persecution of Christians is what goes on in Indonesia and China, and Lowe's calling it a holiday tree is in NO way comparable in spite of O'Reilly and his pinhead minions trying to equate the two, I went with Moral Majority.

But as you say, I'm good with guns so I can't be ALL bad.

12/10/2005 10:58 PM  
Blogger ThirstyDavid sayth,

So, I overlooked a group that is not Falwellish, but respects the real Persecuted Minority enough to eschew that title. Well done.

I followed your link, and you are right. After a long day of work, putting holes in things is excellent therapy.

12/11/2005 8:13 AM  
Blogger Jeremy Weaver sayth,

Very good analysis, David.
Which group did I vote with?

12/11/2005 2:26 PM  
Blogger ThirstyDavid sayth,

Jeremy, you are a conundrum.

I know you're from the South, which increases the chances that you identify with the MM. On the other hand,you may be feeling persecuted after being invaded and conquered by a foreign power. Sorry about that. It wasn't my idea.

This post tells me you have better manners than most Southerners, so maybe all my assumptions based on your origins are moot.

Your comments here indicate that you don't own a gun. You also state that your hands are lethal weapons. That puts you in a class with Kwai-Chang Cain, so again, you might consider yourself perscuted.

This post, the first I ever read on your blog, indicates a separation between you and The MM.

Overall, the evidence leans toward PM. However, there is a certain contrariness that sprouts up regularly in your comments that tells me, no matter what I say, I will be wrong.

Having said that, I will now guess that you voted PM, because even if I am wrong, I will be right.

12/11/2005 3:46 PM  
Blogger Jeremy Weaver sayth,

David Kjos said...
"Jeremy, you are a conundrum."
Oh yeah? Well,
I'm rubber,
you're glue,
what bounces off me
sticks to you.

Honestly, I forgot how I voted.
I was thinking about voting MM, because I like the candy and I also like to root for the underdog, but the MM aren't moral enough for me. Being such, I must have voted PM, because even in the MM, I am a minority and they hate me, and it was late.

12/11/2005 7:42 PM  
Blogger ThirstyDavid sayth,

I knew it!

12/12/2005 4:34 PM