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Saturday Stupidity XXIII

A dog ran into a butcher shop and dropped a note on the counter. The butcher read the note:

5 lbs. ground beef
2 lbs. bacon


He looked at the dog suspiciously, and saw that it had a twenty-dollar bill in its mouth. It was almost closing time, and there were no other customers in the store, so he decided to fill the list and follow the dog home. He wrapped the meat and put it in a bag. The dog dropped the bill on the counter and watched as the butcher counted out his change and put it in the bag. The butcher set the bag on the floor in front of the dog, who picked it up and ran out the door.

Quickly, the butcher locked up and headed off down the street after the dog. Arriving at the bus stop, the dog looked for a moment at the bus schedule, then trotted over to the bench and sat down. A bus stopped, and the dog looked at the number and remained sitting. A second bus stopped, and the dog got up and hopped on board. The butcher followed. The bus went across town, making a several stops on the way. The dog exited the bus, still carrying the meat, with the butcher close behind.

The dog trotted down the street to the edge of town, where it turned down a narrow, seldom-traveled road. The butcher was beginning to be uneasy, as it was getting late, and he was a long way from home and in a strange place; but he had come this far, and he was still very curious. The road wound through a small patch of woods and across a creek.

Finally, they arrived at a small, run-down house. The butcher, more nervous than before, stayed out of site and watched from a distance. The dog ran up the steps, set down the bag, and scratched at the door. After waiting a few minutes, it backed up and took a run at the door, throwing his body against it. After a few tries, the dog sat down and began barking. Soon the door opened. A large, seedily dressed man came out, picked up the bag, and gave the dog a vicious kick.

“Stupid dog!” he yelled, following that with a string of invectives. That was too much for the butcher. Angrily, he came out of his hiding place.

“What’s wrong with you? That dog just went all the way across town to get your groceries! He’s a genius! He could be on T.V.!”

“A genius, you say?” the man snapped back. “That’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!”

2005-11-19 at 12:01 AM MT | |