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Saturday Stupidity XVII

Edmund had developed a taste for the finer things in life – Baroque music, English double guns, Cuban cigars, eighteen-year-old Glen Livet – and he indulged himself with them regularly. One of the more frivolous habits he had was to go to Jake’s barber shop once a week, on Saturday, for a shave. It was so relaxing to lie back in the chair and have the hot cloth on his face, and then just lie there while the barber shaved him. At five dollars a week, it wasn’t a bad deal.

One Saturday, Edmund arrived at the barber shop to find Jake gone for the weekend. Taking his place was his daughter, Grace, who had was home from beauty school and was well qualified to fill in. He sat back in the chair, relaxed, and had his regular shave. When it was done, he sat up and stroked his face. It felt smoother even than usual. He looked in the mirror.

“Wow, nice job. You’ll put your old man out of a job, if you stick around,” he said.

Grace smiled. “Well, thank you,” she replied, “that’ll be twenty dollars.”

“Twenty dollars?” Edmund exclaimed, “Jake only charges five!”

“Well, Dad’s not here, and I charge twenty. You’ll be satisfied, I promise,” she said.

Grudgingly, Edmund paid and left. The next day when he got up, he looked in the mirror. His face was as smooth as the day before. “Strange,” he thought. On Monday, it was the same, and Tuesday and Wednesday, also. Finally, after a couple of weeks passed, he went to the barber shop for a haircut.

“Morning, Edmund!” Jake greeted him cheerfully, “Haven’t seen you in a while. Where’ve you been?”

“Well, Jake, it’s the strangest thing. Since the last time I was in for a shave, my whiskers just haven’t grown. I’m as smooth as the day I was shaved.”

“Really? And when was that?”

“Well, it was a few weeks ago. You were gone that weekend, and your daughter was filling in. Did a great job, too, but she charged me twenty bucks!”

“Oh, I see,” Jake replied, knowingly. “You were shaved by Grace. Once shaved, always shaved.”

2005-10-08 at 12:01 AM MT | |