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Saturday Stupidity XVI

This one is courtesy of my daughter, who may be afflicted with the same disorder as her father.

A certain Viking named Rudolph, who sported a large head of red hair with a full beard to match, was fascinated by the weather. Ever since he had first taken an interest, he had compiled a record of temperatures, wind, rain, snow, and all other weather conditions. He also took note of animal and plant reactions to various changes in weather. As he entered the later years of life, his skill had developed to the point that he could predict with near certainty the following day’s and week’s weather.

One Spring day his neighbor, Lars, came by and informed him that they were getting the longboats ready for a “business trip” to France. Rudolph was to pack his gear and be on the boat in the morning.

“I think we’d better wait a week,” Rudolph said. “There’s going to be a storm. It won’t be a good time to be at sea.”

“What are you talking about?” replied Lars. “The weather’s been perfect, and we need to get an early start this year. Remember last year? We were almost late getting back for the Fall lutfisk dinner at St. Olaf’s Lutheran Church.”

“Ya, I remember, but I’m not getting caught out there in the storm that’s coming.” Try as he might, Lars could not get Rudolph to budge. Rudolph finally told him they could go without him, for all he cared, but he was no fool; so Lars left.

Rudolph sat down, shook his head, and grabbed a jar of pickled herring out of the refrigerator. As he snacked on the delicacy, his wife came in and asked what Lars wanted. Rudolph told her all about it.

“Oh, Rudolph, are you sure? It would be a shame to miss plundering France. I do so love that recipe book you brought home last time. French fries, French toast, French dressing… What if you’re wrong?”

“One thing you should know by now is that I’m never wrong about the weather,” he replied sternly. “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!”

2005-10-01 at 12:01 AM MT | |