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Monday Macontent III

Monday is a good day for complaining. People are in a foul mood anyway, so I might as well get things off my chest right away and get on with my week. A cleansing rant, if you will.

What I Think of Microsoft IE (or, in Greek, !@#$%^&*)

I have a headache. I had it last night, and now I’ve got one already this morning. Those of you who only read websites probably won’t get most of this. I don’t care. I’m irritated, and anyone foolish enough to come to my house on a Monday morning is going to hear about it. You read the title; it says malcontent. You’ve been warned.

I’m working on a new template for this blog, so I’ve been typing html and css all night and again this morning. The new layout I’m working on is not that different from this one, and it really is not difficult at all, except for one thing. All browsers are not created equal. I use Firefox, because that is what intelligent people do, and I am an intelligent person. Unfortunately, many people do not. Most people still use Microsoft Internet Explorer. Still others use Netscape or some other browser. So, I check my layout in Internet Explorer and Netscape as well as Firefox. Whatever works in Firefox generally works in Netscape, but IE is a different (read: dumber) animal. If it looks perfect in Firefox, it is guaranteed to be a train wreck in IE. If it looks good in IE, it will be a sloppy in Firefox. So right now, I’ve got a compromise that looks okay in IE and just tolerable in Firefox. I thought so, anyway.

It seems that different versions of IE display differently, too. I went on my wife’s newer computer and found that what looked almost right in my IE was a total failure in hers. How is anyone supposed to deal with this garbage?

Okay, I know, some of you are thinking, “Maybe it’s not just the browsers. Is it possible that you just don’t know what you are doing?” What an absolutely stupid question to ask an irritable man who owns guns on a Monday morning. The answer is, “No.” Next stupid question. Okay, it is possible that my skills are not on the level of some people I know. They shouldn’t have to be. Yes, some people I know make their sites look good in all browsers. But a simple blog template shouldn’t require the skill of a professional. I should be able to build my site in one browser and know that it will look the same in every browser. All browsers should be able to read the same language. Away with illiterate browsers.

What if all cars didn’t work the same? What if some cars just blew their horn when you stepped on the brake, but didn’t slow down? That’s an exaggeration, but it’s not too far off. It’s like Microsoft is English, or something. Nice car, but the bloody steering wheel is on the wrong side, mate. At least English cars built for the U.S. market are built to U.S. standards. Microsoft’s browser can’t even keep up with universal standards.

I have had it. Really. I am going on a crusade to get everyone in the world to get Firefox, whether they have a computer or not. There is no money in it for me. It’s free for Pete’s sake! I’m not going to come right out and say you’re stupid if you don’t, but I will say this: if you left a monkey in a room with your computer for twenty minutes, when you came back he would have Firefox downloaded and installed. He would probably be shopping on e-Bay, too, so don’t leave your credit card lying around. Or, do leave it. The monkey deserves some reward for services rendered.

2005-10-24 at 7:30 AM MT | |

Blogger Carla sayth,

ROFLOL... I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. Except there is nothing in your entry this morning to assume you are laughing...

Either way, it was funny. Thank you for your cleansing rants, I feel better already, just by reading yours. Maybe now I wont need to rant until the end of the week?

SDG ~ Carla

(by the way, my word verification is fefjhhxye - and in case you were not aware of it, this is what computer programmers scream into the blackness at 3:47 am, when all their work just went down the drain... "noooooo! FEFF Jah Hexye!!!" - it's true, I did not make this up)

10/24/2005 9:40 AM  
Blogger centuri0n sayth,

Your graphics are brilliant, and I'll tell you something: redesigning your blog template is like trying to take a chicken out of a crocodile's mouth thanks to IE. You are bound to get hurt, and the question is only "how much do you want that chicken?"

A quick pointer from someone with three fingers missing in the crocodilian mouth: whenever possible, position your blog parts using the "position" and z-index attributes. If you don't know what I'm taking about, e-mail me and I'll square you up.

MSIE. Somehow Bill Gates takes the fun out of everything.

10/24/2005 2:24 PM  
Blogger Loki Odinsson sayth,

Carla, I believe I used that exact phrase twice last night.

Cent, so now you expect me to admit I don't know what I'm doing?

10/24/2005 3:44 PM  
Blogger Daniel sayth,

At work, our browsers are mandated, we have to use IE.

Worse, therefore, than not using Firefox, is being forced to use IE whilst knowing there is a free and superior browser out there...

10/24/2005 4:16 PM  
Blogger candyinsierras sayth,

I know I am somewhat computer illiterate, so I am not even sure how to change from IE to Firefox. I tried it and couldn't figure out what I was doing. sigh.

10/24/2005 9:30 PM  
Blogger Jonathan Moorhead sayth,

I absolutely LOVE your last graphic! Death by computer is a hoot.
As a Mac user, Safari is awesome and a much better browser than Firefox, but Blogger still hasn’t given it all the perks of Firefox. Bla.

10/24/2005 9:39 PM  
Blogger Jim sayth,

I'm confused. Do you sell your guns on Monday afternoon and buy new ones on sunday night?

By His Grace,

10/25/2005 11:44 AM  
Blogger Loki Odinsson sayth,


After you save the file, go to the folder you saved it to, double-click the .exe file, and it will take you through the installation.

10/25/2005 2:29 PM  
Blogger Loki Odinsson sayth,

Jim, no, I don't. Monday morning is just the time I would be most likely to use them rashly.

10/25/2005 2:33 PM  
Blogger centuri0n sayth,

Loki --

No, not publicly. That's why I suggested you e-mail.

10/25/2005 7:12 PM  
Blogger Jason E. Robertson sayth,

The Death by Computer gave me the biggest laugh I have had all day! Way to go.

10/26/2005 11:03 PM